


Finding a family

by soul_wanderer



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Adoption, Angst, Comfort, Family, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Foster Care, M/M, mentions of abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-11 12:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7050478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soul_wanderer/pseuds/soul_wanderer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you find a family in the most unexpected places and sometimes it involves a little boy that is threatened to go into the system but is saved before he is lost for good</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bluemermaiid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluemermaiid/gifts).



> I feel like there are far too little Barba/Nick stories out there that include children so I just had to write this piece to explore possible family dynamics (I'm always a slut for angst and fluff) - this might be extended at some point by a second chapter but this really depends on how much time I have and the general feedback to this story. For now, enjoy reading!

They first met the boy while working on a case that had all of them on the edge and eager to find whoever was responsible for these horrific crimes.

The victims, all lowlifes with little to lose, were usually found raped and murdered in dark alleys of New York’s ghettos, making the team even more eager to investigate since they knew that no one else would care.

They were still gathering evidence when a new victim turned up, that, much to their surprise, turned out to have a son, something their perp surely hadn’t known about when raping and murdering her, or maybe he just hadn’t cared as Olivia concluded.

Since they still had to find out if there were any living relatives Olivia decided to take him back to the station where Nick and Amanda kept him busy while Olivia started her research.

Nick was good with kids, there was no doubt about it, and when Barba walked in he momentarily stopped to take in the scene in front of him.  
The little boy, barely six months old, Barba guessed, was giggling delightfully at Nick blowing raspberries on his exposed tummy and it stirred something inside of him that he couldn’t quite explain.

“You two had a baby that I didn’t know about?” He teased as he came closer and Nick shot him one of those bright smiles that Barba couldn’t resist before replying “Tempting, but you’re the only one I have eyes for, cariño” Nick smirked and Barba shook his head at how cheesy his boyfriend was sometimes.

“Care to introduce us, _tonto_?” Now Barba was the one to smirk as he turned his attention to the boy who was eyeing him curiously.  
“Rafael, this is Mateo. Mateo, this is ADA Rafael Barba, the one and only.” Nick laughed and Amanda grinned at their antics that reminded her very much of Olivia and herself when they were alone.

“Olá, Mateo, it’s a pleasure to meet you” Barba took the boy’s small hand in his own to shake it and Mateo giggled in response, especially when he went over to tickle him.

It was then, when his shirt further rode up, that Barba noticed something that had his breath caught in his throat.

“Guys...” He trailed off, waiting to get their attention before showing them what he found. There were bruises, littered all over his torso, in different shades and sizes and all they could do was stare at them for a moment.

“Oh my god”, Amanda quietly brought out but before either of them could say anything else Olivia came out of her office and Barba shot her a concerned look.

“Bad news, guys. Little Mateo doesn’t seem to have any relatives which means we have to call social services to take it over from here on.” Olivia informed them and stopped when she took note of their serious faces and worried looks.

“Liv, it seems like he was abused. Just look at those bruises” Amanda lifted the shirt again and Olivia had to momentarily close her eyes to digest this revelation.

“Alright, go take him to the hospital to get checked out and I’ll call social services to meet you there.” Olivia nodded at Nick and before she could say anything else Barba announced that he would go with him, with a look in his eyes that told Olivia not to argue.

 

At the hospital they waited outside while a doctor checked on the boy, both lost in thought and Rafael nervously bouncing his leg.

“Hey”, Nick quietly spoke up when he noticed his nervousness, wondering what was on his mind.  
“You alright?” At this Rafael looked up at him, his eyes giving away both concern and sadness.

“Yeah, I-“ He started off, but then “I know we have seen a lot of awful things on the job, but…this boy, Nick. He doesn’t have anyone left and now _this_. I don’t want to think about what’s going to happen to him in the system.” Rafael sighed, defeated.

Nick understood what he meant. They both knew the system, the foster homes, the horror stories. Rafael was right, the boy didn’t deserve any of that, not after what he had already been through. Then again there was little they could do, wasn’t there?

“I know it’s not fair, but _Rafi_ -“, Nick was trying to find words of comfort but then he noticed tears pooling in his eyes and it broke his heart all over again.

“We can’t let this happen, Nick.” His voice was shaking and his hands trembling as Nick took them in his own. 

They had been talking about having kids. Rarely, but the topic had come up once or twice after Nick had spent the weekend with his kids. 

Rafael had never really thought about it, not with his job, his career, his age, but it had changed when Nick came into his life and he had started thinking about what their future would look like.   
Deep down he had always longed to be a father but had always pushed it aside because he saw himself unfit to raise children and had started to focus on his career instead.  


But now, with this little boy, with _them_ , it very suddenly seemed to become a very real possibility and it scared him and filled him with so much hope all the same.  
He thought about Noah and Olivia and Amanda too and how they became a family against all odds. Then he thought about Nick, about what a great father he was, and how he had so easily bonded with Mateo earlier on.

“Cariño” Nick brought him back to the presence and watched as Rafael took a deep breath.

“Nick” he paused, then quietly added, “Do you…do you think-“, he was afraid of saying what was on his mind, but Nick knew it anyway and reassuringly squeezed his hand.

“Are you really sure about this? I mean, look, a child is a huge responsibility and-“, this time it was Nick who trailed off, unsure what to say.

Rafael knew all about that, knew it was a decision that changed your whole life and he let out a heavy sigh at that, his shoulders slumping and head lowering.

“You are probably right, this is a bad idea. I shouldn’t have thought that I could actually…” His words came out choked and Nick felt a lump form in his own throat at the sight.

“Rafi, no, don’t say that, _please_.” He quietly spoke up, afraid Rafael had misunderstood him.   
“You would be a great father. I was just saying…I just don’t want this to be a decision that is made in the heat of the moment, do you understand?” At this Rafael finally looked up again, searching Nick’s eyes for any signs of dishonesty but finding none.

“Does that mean- do you, I mean, would you be okay with that? Because Nick, I really want this, not just because I feel sorry for this boy” His voice cracked at the words and Nick could tell he was serious about this and his features softened visibly.

“I know you do, Rafi, I know. And there’s no one I would rather do this with, really. You are right, this boy deserves a second chance and I would be happy to give him that. With you.” Nick emphasized, a small smile tucking at the corners of his lips.

It was then that he finally smiled again but before he was able to reply the doctor came back out to tell him about the results while Rafael carefully held the boy in his arms, comforting him after the stress of his check-up.

“He seems okay so far, aside from the various bruises that appear to be healing well. His x-rays showed that his left arm was slightly broken but has already healed on its own, so there shouldn’t be any problem with that.” The doctor concluded and both Nick and Rafael processed his words after thanking him and saying their goodbyes.

“It’s going to be okay” Nick was the first to break out of his daze and gently touched Rafael’s shoulder who was looking at Mateo with sad eyes.

“Yeah, let’s hope so” He whispered and absentmindedly stroked the boy’s hair as he was starting to fall asleep against his chest.

A social worker arrived not long after that and they told the her about the change of plans, trying to convey how serious they were about wanting to take care of Mateo.  
She was sceptical at first, but a phone call with Olivia and some further discussion later she agreed, knowing the boy would be in safe and loving hands, just as Noah had been with Olivia.

They were relieved when they were given the green light and drove back to the station where Olivia was already waiting for them.

“You two sure give me a run for my money” Olivia greeted them, but couldn’t keep up the mock seriousness for too long.

“Yeah, sorry about that Liv. We didn’t mean to get you into trouble, but we couldn’t let this boy go into the system”, Nick explained, knowing she would understand.

“I know, next time it would be nice to give me a heads up though” Olivia momentarily slipped into the role of their boss before smiling and turning towards the boy who was inspecting his surroundings.

“Hey buddy, looks like you got two daddies now, how does that sound?” She cooed and smiled at him, softly stroking his cheeks as she thought of Noah when he first came home with her.

“I’m sure you will need some things for your first night with him. I can give you Noah’s pack’n play and some other stuff until you get around to do some shopping” Olivia offered and both Nick and Barba gratefully accepted, knowing there was still a lot they would need if they planned on giving Mateo a permanent home.

“Thanks Liv, we really appreciate it.” Nick nodded and they decided that they would come over after work to pick up whatever they would need for the first few days and were glad when Olivia gave them the rest of the day off.

Standing outside the station they both took a deep breath and Nick, sensing Rafael’s nervousness, reassured him once again, “Breathe, Rafi, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to be a great father”, he smiled, gently and full of love and was glad when Rafael seemed to relax a little.

“Thank you” Rafael quietly replied, looking at Mateo and then back at Nick again, grateful for this chance they were being given.

“Alright Mati, vamos a la casa” Rafael smiled, and together home they went.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> About rough beginnings and happy endings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with the second chapter sooner than expected because this story just wouldn't leave my mind - enjoy reading and feel free to leave some feedback :)

They went to a nearby store after picking up some essentials from Olivia’s apartment and Nick had to keep Rafael from emptying half of the store because he had no idea how much they would need of everything and was worried they would forget something important and wouldn’t be prepared enough for emergencies.

After calming him down and telling him that yes, they did have enough diapers and yes, this formula was good enough they were ready to head home and set up everything Mateo would need for his first few days with them.

When Mateo got hungry, Nick showed Rafael how to prepare the formula and check if it was too hot, carefully dripping a few drops onto his wrist so he could check the temperature and positioning Mateo in his arms so he could drink more easily.

 

They tried to find a rhythm after that, slowly, but still, the first nights were a nightmare. Mateo was confused and irritated and didn’t know what to make of his new surroundings and Rafael would be there whenever he heard him crying at night.

He walked into the guest room that they were planning to turn into the nursery and carefully picked Mateo up to rest him against his chest, his arms safely wrapped around his small body.

“Hey Mati, qué pasa?” Rafael quietly spoke up while gently bouncing the boy in his arms, trying to figure out what was bothering him.

When offering him a finger Mateo greedily started sucking on it in between small whimpers and Rafael was relieved that it seemed to calm him down for a moment.

As he looked down at the boy he wondered if he should check his diaper or if he might be hungry, something he still had trouble figuring out but not wanting to unnecessarily wake Nick either since he had to get up in the morning.

They had decided that Nick would continue to work while Rafael stayed home with Mateo and it soon dawned on Rafael why that was. 

While there was no doubt that Nick loved the boy it had soon become clear that he too had his insecurities and Rafael had noticed how he was reluctant when it came to comforting Mateo whenever he was upset.

It was nothing Rafael minded terribly but he still confronted Nick about it one night, trying to find the source of his insecurities.   
Only in the darkness did Nick dare to talk about his fears, how he worried that he wouldn’t be able to soothe Mateo or that he would lose his patience when he just wouldn’t stop crying.

Rafael had looked at him then, softly, and had reassured him, even though Nick still doubted himself some days, not quite trusting his own abilities when it came to such a small child.   
Still, Rafael knew that he would never hurt a child, telling him that he had never hurt Zara either and it soothed some of Nick’s fears but he still kept his distance when Mateo had one of his crying fits.

Now, looking at Mateo and contemplating what to do next, Rafael began humming a Spanish lullaby and the boy looked up at him at that, mesmerized by the sounds and finally starting to relax, much to Rafael’s relief.

He didn’t even notice when Nick came to stand in the doorway, listening to the melody that he distinctly recognized from his own childhood but trying to not dwell on it for too long, and watching as Mateo slowly fell back asleep in Rafael’s arms.

It was only when he slowly approached him that Rafael looked up and shot him a small smile, watching as Nick carefully stroked the boy’s hair before he put him back down in his crib.

They went to bed after that, quietly, and Nick wrapped his arms around Rafael and pulled him close, it was his way of making amends for not getting up more often when Mateo was crying.

 

It was a few days after that, Nick had noticed how exhausted Rafael was and felt guilty about it, when Mateo started fussing again at night and Nick carefully got up, hoping Rafael would stay asleep while he took care of the boy.

Walking into his room he stood in front of the crib for a moment and took a deep breath before lifting Mateo into his arms and trying to comfort him before his crying got worse. 

He thought back to when Zara was this little and momentarily got caught up in memories before remembering what Rafael usually did when Mateo was upset. 

When he started singing, quietly, it was a little off-key but he figured that the boy wouldn’t care too much about it so he continued, hoping it would do the trick.

This time it was Rafael who watched from afar, a smile tucking at the corners of his lips as he watched the boy fall asleep in Nick’s arms while listening to him singing the familiar lullaby.

He approached him then, quietly, and wrapped his arms around his waist from behind, his chin resting on his shoulder as he watched the sleeping boy.

When Nick turned to look at him, Rafael had a proud smile on his face and Nick insecurely retorted it before quietly speaking up.

“I hoped you would be able to get some sleep, sorry if we woke you.” He began to apologize but Rafael was quick in cutting him off.

“It’s okay, I really don’t mind. Thank you, cariño” Rafael’s voice was hushed and he was overcome with love for the man in his arms who cared so much for both him and now Mateo too.

“You’re great with him” He softly added after a moment of comfortable silence and it was all it took for Nick to tear up as he turned around to kiss Rafael, gently and conveying his gratitude, his love, and with Mateo safely nestled between them he felt like he had finally arrived.


End file.
